Love Your Inner Child 👶💓

Hi Sweet Friend,
 

Have you ever done any inner child work? If not, your definition of crying must be different than mine.

And so is your definition of relief.

Recently, I was reading a book called It’s Not Your Money by Tosha Silver. She suggests that when we’re grasping for more (clothes, food, love, money, attention), it’s usually the child inside us who is feeling scared or deprived acting out. I followed her prompts to meet my inner child with a simple meditation*, and cried my heart out when I realized how scared and stuck she felt.

I was transported to a very early memory where I'd locked myself into a room in my grandparents' apartment. My father was urging me to slide him the key from under the door so he could let me out. As if in a nightmare, I wasn't able to do it.

I was two years old. I panicked. The episode ended with my dad telling me to stand back and breaking the glass on the door. I didn't get hurt. At least not in the way that you would think I would.

I just believed that I wasn't smart enough to get myself out of there. I kept putting myself in similar situations so I could prove to myself and to my dad and to the whole world that I could actually do it on my own. 

I cried so hard when I realized what I've been putting that lonely kid through for years. So much pressure. And the relief that came from being held and soothed by my adult self was incredible. I'm tearing up even now as I type. I gave her a hug and she wouldn't let me go for a long time.

Those of you that follow writer Elizabeth Gilbert (of Eat, Pray, Love fame) on Instagram will know that every morning when she wakes up, she has a conversation with Love. She says she asks Love (Universal, Divine Love, God, Goddess, The Source or however you like to call it) for advice all the time but always gets the same answer: “I don’t know, sweetheart. That’s not my department. But I will be right here with you, loving you, no matter what comes.”

So I adapted Gilbert’s conversation with Love into my own morning check-in with Mini-Me. “What's up with today's uneasiness?" I ask. And she tells me what's bothering her. I give her the same answer every time. "I haven't figured out that one yet. But I promise I will love and protect you no matter what happens."

After you reunite with your inner child, the best way to cultivate a healing relationship with her is to start having fun together. Make a doodle or a sock puppet, put your Snapchat filters into good use or practice one of your silly walks.

If you'd like to go deeper, you can take my Healing Through Creativity course to awaken your creative side with the help of breathwork. I now offer it as a private in-person course too. Email me and we can talk about rates & availability.

I'm also offering three Breathwork + Sound Bath groups in Manhattan and Brooklyn with my good friend Jen Duardo this month.

March 1, Sunday 2-3.30pm at Solid Gold Yogi, Bushwick. Sign up.
March 22, Sunday at 2-3.30pm Woom Center, Bowery. Sign up.
March 29, Sunday at 5-6.30pm Usha Veda Yoga, Greenpoint. Sign up.

I hope to connect with you soon. Please give your inner child a hug from me.

With lots of love.
Hande

*

An Online Course For Healing Through Creativity💫

Hi Friend,

Happy 2020! I mean it: May life bring you new ways to be happy in 2020. Last year hasn't exactly been easy for me, and my intention is to flow with more ease and happiness this year.

One of the ways I find my flow is through dancing. So I went dancing the other night. The kind of dancing where there's no talking, shoes or booze. Two hours of nonstop movement. Jumping, swaying, stomping till you think you can't anymore, and then dancing some more.

I remembered a time not so long ago, when I was so quick to let go and fall into whatever rhythm was playing without caring about my next move. After a long period of staying away from dancing, it took me an hour to finally get there. ''There'' felt as though there was a slight lag between my brain and my limbs: My hands and feet were moving in front of my eyes while my mind was surprised to see them acting out of their own will. I'd stopped thinking about my next move. I was completely absorbed inside the moment. I was free.

''Yeah, sex is great but...'' have you ever danced until you burst out laughing or crying? At the end of the session, as I was laughing with ecstasy, the only words that were reverberating inside my head were: STOP GETTING IN YOUR WAY!

I stopped dancing, writing, laughing, creating whenever I felt stuck in life. My body felt heavy, tired and achy. I ran away from doing the things I needed to do the most, and told myself I didn't have time for ''hobbies''. I convinced myself that I'd find the time for these once I put my life back on track. Once I'm done with this project. Once I make more money. Once I get over this hump.

Do you know what I realized? That time may never come. I may face hurdles from all sides during the time I will be here. I can keep finding excuses not to open myself up to my creativity for as long as I live. I can stay in stress and worry, and express myself by creating dis-ease in my body instead of releasing and transforming all that pent-up energy into something else.

And as someone who had to deal with a couple of rare diseases in her 20's, I promised myself that I would never do that again. 

This is why I wanted to initiate an opportunity for all of us to breathe and create together this year. I plan to travel more in the upcoming months and I want to hold space for you wherever I go. I designed a 4-week online program where you can breathe with me and open yourself up to new modes of self-expression. Here is the plan.

If you've been wanting to try breathwork or integrate it into your life, this is a great opportunity to get started! Not only will we breathe but we'll dance, make art, learn to set up an altar and create a vision board for what we would like to attract in this powerful new year. 

We're going to start at the next full moon on February 9th, and follow the lunar cycle as we shed our worries and replace them with more joy and creativity. We'll meet over the online meeting app Zoom, which you can download on your phone, tablet or computer, to breathe in the privacy of your home. It's super easy to set up, and you'll have the recordings of the sessions if you'd like to use them in the future.

Each session will last 60 minutes each (with the possibility of the Vision Board session going on forever because it's so much fun!), and you can access the video of each session should you miss one. Email me for rates and availability.


Meanwhile, I'm in New York this month so you can book me here if you need private breathwork or reiki sessions. I'll have some groups in the near future. Follow me on Instagram (@handeoynar) for updates.

Please reach out with any questions you might have. I'm learning to do this as we go along and if you've ever worked with me, you know I welcome any kind of feedback. =)

Stay warm and be easy on yourself.

With love.
Hande

November Breathwork Offering

Hello Rozit!

The winter is here. Can you feel it in your bones today?

There is a part of me that is scared of cold weather. I don’t know if it’s the perennial Mediterranean in me that suffers under too many layers of clothing in the wintertime or an ancestral fear passed on through many generations of immigrants who were worried about finding shelter where they were headed to. Or perhaps, it’s just that New York winters are fucking long.

In any case, I need my layers of protection.

And sometimes those layers of physical and emotional protection turn into habits that are hard to shake. Even after they are no longer necessary.

As we enter the Dark Moon phase of the year nearing the Winter Solstice, I am thinking about how I can live through this time while keeping myself open.

Instead of retreating into my shell and bracing myself for the cold, as I always do, can I introduce the possibility of opening up in other areas while I take better care of my physical body? Can I instill new habits such as dancing (Keeps you warm, check. Improves your mood, check.), cooking (Ditto.) and getting regular massages (Ahhh… Heaven.)?

This week I began lighting a candle every morning and meditating in front of it for at least 10 minutes. The bright flame reminds me of my own fire which I promise to keep lighting up in some way every day during the dark, cold months of winter - however small that gesture may be.

I suggest you do the same. Take care of your body, choose to keep your fire running and surprise yourself by opening up to new possibilities. Even in the darkness of winter.

If you feel that your energy needs some fine-tuning at this time and would like to work with me personally, please reach out.

If you’d like to join one of my groups, this week I’m offering a breathwork + sound bath group with my sound-healer & singer friend Jenn Duardo at:

Woom Center on November 10, 2-4pm. Here’s the sign-up link.

Hugging you warmly.

Love,
Hande